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Al Gore Thaws to Spin new Fictional Global Warming Yarns

March 1, 2010

Al Gore Heats up the Global Warming Debate with his own facts.

Good news, he’s back to spin another yarn on Global Warming, I mean, climate change. Was he frozen completely solid so far this 2010? Where was Al the Climate Man? Perhaps he has been hibernating to reduce green house gasses.

Here are the crib notes to his lengthy New York Times fictional Op-Ed on Global Climate Change Warming.

He starts right off on page one admitting that his data was flawed and overestimated.

Excerpt from Al’s latest Climate Crisis Alert:

“It is true that the climate panel published a flawed overestimate of the melting rate of debris-covered glaciers in the Himalayas, and used information about the Netherlands provided to it by the government, which was later found to be partly inaccurate.”

Hey that’s great Al! You admit your data is flawed, but let’s not let facts get in the way.

His yarn continues with a fictional story about life without the fear of Global Warming. He says, “But what a burden would be lifted! We would no longer have to worry that our grandchildren would one day look back on us as a criminal generation that had selfishly and blithely ignored clear warnings that their fate was in our hands.”

Criminal Generation? Who is the criminal here Al?

Al Gore's Energy Wasting Compound made him realize that Algore is the enemy of the state.

“Gore’s mansion, located in the posh Belle Meade area of Nashville, consumes more electricity every month than the average American household uses in an entire year, according to the Nashville Electric Service (NES).”

What happened, did Al wake up one morning look in the mirror and realize that he was looking at the enemy?

Facts Not Needed, Just take my word for it!
Al’s yarn continues, ” January was seen as unusually cold in much of the United States. Yet from a global perspective, it was the second-hottest January since surface temperatures were first measured 130 years ago.” Yet he fails to cite any source, research or other evidence that what he says is true. Al you have a credibility problem here, no one believes you so you can’t just make things up anymore.

A Great Algore Lie
Here is some ALGORE SPIN, this is a great lie, “The heavy snowfalls this month have been used as fodder for ridicule by those who argue that global warming is a myth, yet scientists have long pointed out that warmer global temperatures have been increasing the rate of evaporation from the oceans, putting significantly more moisture into the atmosphere — thus causing heavier downfalls of both rain and snow in particular regions, including the Northeastern United States.” Wow, now the global warming is putting moisture in the air in the winter. Again, there are not sources, just Al’s imagination working overtime.

Now Al gets off topic a bit, “The political paralysis that is now so painfully evident in Washington has thus far prevented action by the Senate — not only on climate and energy legislation, but also on health care reform, financial regulatory reform and a host of other pressing issues.” Ok Al, one crisis at a time. Otherwise you’re gonna lose some of us old folks in your plot.

Blame the US, Just Don’t Blame Canada
So why isn’t the Global Warming story getting any traction? Al blame US. “Because the world still relies on leadership from the United States, the failure by the Senate to pass legislation intended to cap American emissions before the Copenhagen meeting guaranteed that the outcome would fall far short of even the minimum needed to build momentum toward a meaningful solution.”

Well who did you expect Al to blame? Canada? No, it’s the United States’ fault but also the economy stupid, “The globalization of the economy, coupled with the outsourcing of jobs from industrial countries, has simultaneously heightened fears of further job losses in the industrial world and encouraged rising expectations in emerging economies. The result? Heightened opposition, in both the industrial and developing worlds, to any constraints on the use of carbon-based fuels, which remain our principal source of energy.”

Blame Capitalism Too

He also blames ‘capitalism’ for his failures,, “The decisive victory of democratic capitalism over communism in the 1990s led to a period of philosophical dominance for market economics worldwide and the illusion of a unipolar world. It also led, in the United States, to a hubristic “bubble” of market fundamentalism that encouraged opponents of regulatory constraints to mount an aggressive effort to shift the internal boundary between the democracy sphere and the market sphere.”

Oh my gosh, Al uses some big words and phrases here, let’s start with ‘hubristic’.Hubristic refers to pride or arrogance. Which is it Al is it the pride or the arrogance of the people that is causing global warming? I don’t even want to tackle his run-on market fundamentalism..regulatory constraints and aggressive effort to the market sphere. It’s just Al being Al. Thanks Al, you’re so smart.

In Conclusion, Replace Those who do not Obey Me
Finally, after nearly 5000 highly crafted words, Al concludes his fictional yarn with a demand that we replace those who do not conform to his theories. “Public officials must rise to this challenge by doing what is required; and the public must demand that they do so — or must replace them.”

A day without Al, is like a day without sunshine. Glad to have you back with your wild spinning tales.

Here is Al’s latest diatribe if you want to read the whole thing.

You might be interested in: The Obama Media Abortion

3 Comments leave one →
  1. March 2, 2010 9:46 am

    Al Gore is a hoot!! It’s really too bad that too many people take him seriously, or else he’d be just like Joe Biden.

    Good stuff John!

  2. March 2, 2010 9:54 am

    I think Algore is a funny man. Or is it I think Algore is a man who should be made fun of? Either way, Al makes me laugh. I would never take manbearpig seriously, and I lump global warming in there with that.

    Besides, we are beginning a new ice age. Perhaps all this global warming will delay things till after my great, great, great, great grand kids die. Probably not.


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